This week

I would just like to apologies to everyone (especially Parv and Greg) this week for:
-having no social life (due to drama)
-Massive mood swings (due to good or bad rehearsals)
-Bitching way to much ( mostly drama related)
-swearing (not due to drama i just do it to much)

I promise that from Wednesday morning i will be happy all week, try and sort out everyone's problems, and swear less.


and i would like to invite all of you to come and see our drama pieces on Tuesday from 10:35-11:15. (and none of you are seeing it before then os please dont try and come to our rehearsals, because it get slows us down and we wount let you watch)!
but you have to sit at the back and NOT LAUGH (Jazz & Jack).


=]

It could be worse...

It could be worse.... you could be a slug!
I mean;
you look like a turd,
your covered in slime,
all you do is drag your own rancid body along, looking for cabbage.
that's all you do

'have you seen any cabbage Dave?'
'no i haven't Allen'
Oh well, onwards in my quest for cabbage. Oh no! I've got gravel on my belly.'

I mean THAT'S depressing. You can't even cry, if you do the tears will melt your face.

this is curtsy of Russell Howard on live at the Apollo.

this made me laugh properly for the first time in aaggeeesssssss! he had just given a speech on how we all moan too much. And i no I'm guilty of this, so I'm sorry to everyone I've moaned at.
Oh and thank you!

... explained (sort of)

i feel i should explain the post below.

i was told something realy bad, and it reminded me of something even worse.
and i just started writing all the stuff i couldn't fit in my head anymore.
any answers or thoughts would be wellcome, please just comment.
xx

...

AAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHHH...............

isn't it strange how your mood can change because of one word?

isn't it weird that when your friends are most happy you can be the most sad?

why does everyone answer 'im fine' when asked how they are?

whats the point?

where do we all go?

how should i explain?

what if i mess up?

the only way to live is to live by the moment, but then what happens tomorow?

how do you mesure beauty?

what is beauty?

which maters; what you say or what you mean?

nature or nurture?

alls fair in love and war?

what is love?

will i ever understand?

will it ever stop?

is there a god?

is religion good?

does it mater as long as your a good person?

what makes you a good person?

am i a good person?

will he get better?

what happens when we die?

WHY??????????

Peeps!

I promised Parveen I'd write a blog all about her. well I'm to lazy to do that so:
PARVEEN I LUV U (IN THAT WAY) (ITS NOT RAPE) (SMARTIE COOKIES) (DEVIL FORKS) (DEPONENT VERBS)

there i cba to do more!

loads of people have written about friends, i feel like i should do one. But i cant describe any of you in the right way every time i started writing it sounded silly, because it didn't show what i really felt.

isn't that weird I'm normally to loud yet when it comes to stuff close to my heart i just cant explain! (how cheesy is that?!)

all i can say is that like Hannah i would take a bullet for any of you and not regret it, you mean so much to me and without you guys I'd probably be like Megan or Erin (what an awful thought....we should be nicer to them)

Oh and Parv peanut oil! (dw its a lesbian jk......i have too many of these....i am straight)

Expectations

im everyone has been writing realy deep blogs about growing up.
so i felt i had to join in:

my life has a plan which im expected to follow:
-pass GCSEs
-pass A-Levels
-(maybe a gap year)
-uni
-job
-husband
-kids
-retire
-grandchildren
-die


this sounds pretty boring, but its the 'perfect' life. the model we should 'want' to folow.
well..... my problem is that after GCSEs i dont know what i want to do.

some friends know what they want to do, others know an area they want to go into.

but me. i have no idea.

i used to want to be an actress, but i dont
then it was a doctor, but i dont
then a medic in the army, but i dont

now all i want is to get away from my perants.

but if you look at my perants they've maneged so much:
-i mean my dad went to Oxford
-there first home was a narow boat
-my mum stopped working when Hugh was born (she was midd 20s)
-my dad retired at 40
-4 children all through privete schooling
-a large house with no morgage
-we used to have a second house in Norfok aswell.

this sounds like braging, but its not its fact. And the worrying thing is i dont think i can acheive the same and that scares me.
I my complain about my life, but i have never been in need, i've never gone hungry, i've never been thirsty.
and one day sooner that it seems i'll have to provide for myself, and i don't know if i can.

I wouldn't say i have everything i want but have everything i need.

and my brother and sister are doing the right thing because their brillant.

Hugh (21):
got a one one for his achitecture part one. now working in London.
traveled all over the world. apliying to spend a year in Japan at uni, before copleating his achitecture degree.
Perfect.

Clarie(19):
at York st.Jonh's doing OT (same as mum my). spent most of last year in Mexico with gides.
Perfect

so im expected to follow. but how?
im not like either of them.....their both close to our perants im not.

i used to talk to my mum so she'd notice me not Claire. but now Claire's at uni she EXPECTS me to tell her about every aspect of my life. The problem is i don't want to any more.

so theirs a cold-war between us. (but thats another blog)

The whole point of this blog is im not sure i can (or want to) live up to expectations.

boys

Ok i havent writen for aaaaaggggeeeeeessssssss!!!!!!

I LOVE TWILIGHT!!!!!!!!! He is SO fit!!!!! it is such a good film!!!!!! I need to find the book now!!!!!!!!

right thats my girly rant over, now i will have a more sophisticated rant!

last night i was with a friend (Memory Keeper), and we made a list of tips for blokes. This got me thinking about relationships.
i love all my friends, but i also love that closeness you feel when your with someone.

the way there's someone who knows all about you, you dont have to be garded around, you can just be you and feel how you want.
friends are great but you sometimes have to hid your feelings for thier sake, and they do the same for you.

where as with a boyfriend you can be just who you are and not worry that they wount like you for it. because if they didn't they wouldnt be there.

but being single is great to, you can flirt, joke with everyone, talk about fit guys and not worry,
spent lots of time with girl friends.

I think to mose important points on our list where:
1) You have to be my bestfriend and boyfriend
2)a long walk hand in hand is more romantic than something expencive
3)my girl friends will always be THE most important
4) i have a brain, im not an object

when i find a guy who understands all of these, and understands me, then i'll have found my perfect boyfriend.

in the meantime, i'll keep playing matchmaker!! and people(ie Jazz) should take my advise quicker!

Fat?!

First day back at school! YAY.....or not!
actually school was ok. I beat Hutty at pool (he didn't let me win or anything).

I said this wouldn't be self centered, but I'm going to rant about my mother now so....... Oh well!

This morning i put sugar on my Special K
and my mum went 'If you put sugar on your ceals you'll get fat'
I was like 'What?!'
she said 'you should have an egg and some fruit, it would be much healthier'

an EGG and some FRUIT!!!!!!!!!!!!

I mean wtf!
1)wouldn't that make me fatter (also a weird combination?!)
2)I hadn't realised my weight was such an issue!

I have just weighed myself I'm 52Kg (8stone 2pounds) is that fat??????
i didn't think it was but to my mother (who isn't exactly small) it obviously is!

Oh well..... I can't do diets so I'll just have to be disgustingly huge!

so I want a poll here (and be truthful) everybody please comment with your weight and what you eat for breakfast!

I read back through my blog today and relised how self centered it is.

so im gona try and write about more important things than snow/partys/my life.
each week i will:
-Give an intresting quote
-write a blog about something in the news
-reviw a book/film/play/tv program
-write about other people (ie friends)

so this is no longer a blog about me, its a blog about my world!

Oh and Jazz & Jack :) thehe
luv u guys

SNOW!!!!

Ok..... i love snow as much as anyone else, but at 8.17 it has less apeal. I didnt have to get up this morrning till 9.30 at the earlist, so when mum woke me up i was not in the best mood.

Anyway what i wanted to say was that snow is weird. I mean its solid rain. And if you think about it commen sence would make you dislike it, its cold and wet. yet the moment it starts to snow you're expected to leap out of bed. Still i suppose its because we dont get snow very often in this country.

Adults

Why do adults seem to be surprised that people grow taller?

My parents had a party last night, so i shut myself in the playroom with my laptop and the TV on. And every time an adult came in to drop off their coat they said 'haven't you grown?' or 'last time i saw you you were this high' or some useless comment on the fact that i was curled up with my laptop and the TV. One women came in and said 'oh! Who's winning?' i was like 'what?!'. Apparently it was a joke cos she thought i was playing a computer game. It wasn't funny!!!!!

I ended up watching What Women Want (Mel Gibson) such a good film. Its was funny though cos i was watching it with my sister, 2 of her friends (both female), and her boyfriend. And he didn't understand the film in the same way as we all did.
I have to say that it is a brilliant film, SO Hilarious!!!!!!

Sorry

last night Freddie text me, i can't realy explain what happened, but i ended up crying.

I just want to say that i have the best friends in the whole world. they stand by me even when im being a bitch, they never seem to give up on me. I love them all so much and im sorry to every one i've pissed off or been a bitch to this week. Freddie, Jazz, Hannah and Hutty!

And every one i haven't pissed of this week i love you guys aswell and im sorry for all evil things i've done in the last year, all the times i've said mean things i didnt mean any of them.

and i promise this year i'll listen to you guys more cos u are all better at looking out for me than i am. But i also promise i will be bossy, tell u what to do and think i know best (although i probably don't) cos thats just me!

2009

ok. Things i will do in 2009:

1)Be a better friend, bitch less.

2)Find a nice boyfriend, who doesnt turn out to be a idiot (don't kiss Matt again).

3)Read more intelctualy challenging books, and less teen fiction.

4)Get fit. (will walking to school work?)

5)Tidy my room once a week.

6)learn to touch type.

7)Eat less sugar, and eat more friut.

8)Save money.

9)clear out wardrobe and buy nicer clothes (less from primark)

10)Do something for someone else.

If i do all of this by 2010 i will be a better person who has contributed to society. But the chances of me doing any of this is depressingly low!

Party!!

Hutty's was jokes.
But i was a bit of an idiot! i started talkin to Matt and ended up curling up with him. Then we kissed, but i did stop and leave, cos i dont want to get back with him.
I think i did it cos i felt a bit alone. I mean Hannah and david were together (vv good thing... he's been trying it get with her since the end of the summer) and Jazz and Pooley were together (also vv good... to much history to explain) and then it was me on my own. So i gess i just wanted to feel wanted like they were.