Expectations

im everyone has been writing realy deep blogs about growing up.
so i felt i had to join in:

my life has a plan which im expected to follow:
-pass GCSEs
-pass A-Levels
-(maybe a gap year)
-uni
-job
-husband
-kids
-retire
-grandchildren
-die


this sounds pretty boring, but its the 'perfect' life. the model we should 'want' to folow.
well..... my problem is that after GCSEs i dont know what i want to do.

some friends know what they want to do, others know an area they want to go into.

but me. i have no idea.

i used to want to be an actress, but i dont
then it was a doctor, but i dont
then a medic in the army, but i dont

now all i want is to get away from my perants.

but if you look at my perants they've maneged so much:
-i mean my dad went to Oxford
-there first home was a narow boat
-my mum stopped working when Hugh was born (she was midd 20s)
-my dad retired at 40
-4 children all through privete schooling
-a large house with no morgage
-we used to have a second house in Norfok aswell.

this sounds like braging, but its not its fact. And the worrying thing is i dont think i can acheive the same and that scares me.
I my complain about my life, but i have never been in need, i've never gone hungry, i've never been thirsty.
and one day sooner that it seems i'll have to provide for myself, and i don't know if i can.

I wouldn't say i have everything i want but have everything i need.

and my brother and sister are doing the right thing because their brillant.

Hugh (21):
got a one one for his achitecture part one. now working in London.
traveled all over the world. apliying to spend a year in Japan at uni, before copleating his achitecture degree.
Perfect.

Clarie(19):
at York st.Jonh's doing OT (same as mum my). spent most of last year in Mexico with gides.
Perfect

so im expected to follow. but how?
im not like either of them.....their both close to our perants im not.

i used to talk to my mum so she'd notice me not Claire. but now Claire's at uni she EXPECTS me to tell her about every aspect of my life. The problem is i don't want to any more.

so theirs a cold-war between us. (but thats another blog)

The whole point of this blog is im not sure i can (or want to) live up to expectations.